29 APRIL
Prince William wedding today! OMG! everything is so formal, yet so fairytale! while it's great watching and admiring everything, i worry for the girl...
一个用自由和隐私换来的爱情
被服着重大责任的角色
希望一切都值得吧
~~公主和王子的故事~~
I've never been interested in such matters, but wen hang has been telling me about it and under peer pressure, i wavered.
28 APRIL
this will be the last day in hall? perhaps, i don't think i wanna come back here to revise for exams unless i absolutely have to. last semester i stayed here alone for 2 days to study and i almost fell victim to depression. i cried, was restless and i had all sorts of negative thoughts...
27 APRIL
*takes bun out of bag*
classmate: didn't u just had 1?
me: yes, this is another one
classmate: do u usually eat 2? or 'cause this is nice?
me: errr, no. i eat alot for breakfast.
classmate: how much do u usually eat for breakfast?
me: if i'm at home, can be about 6 slices of bread and a cup of milk.
classmate: *eyes wide open* so much?! i mean, seldom see girls eat so much.
me: eh...
THANKS! i think this is not the first time i get this kind of comment?! so... GIRLS, CAN U GUYS JUST EAT MORE?! I APPEAR WEIRD WITH U GUYS ALL HAVE APPETITE OF ANTS?!
25 APRIL
I got hugs from my new buddy! :D We just found out that both of us love hugs.... awww, finally i am getting my comfort in university... i thought clique 8 will be my last...
yeah, anyway this buddy heard that i am considering switching course or dropping out and she got worried. she has been telling me to consider and research on the course carefully if i wanna take some private courses. though she did tell me that if i have any difficulties while revising for exams this time i can call her anytime. another incentive offered is that if i continue in this course, i will get hugs from her everyday. well, i think that i will most probably stay in this course, since i think Translation degree in SIM requires me to have job experience, and i think the Aviation Degree there is a collaboration, not a branch of Embry-Riddle. these 2 are the only courses i am interested.
24 APRIL
:'(
recently i've been feeling horrible. I'm rushing projects almost daily, but i don't feel the least satisfaction when i 'complete' them, because i feel i hardly contributed! i feel so guilt-stricken but i can't help with much things. i am so afraid my groupmates will hate me for dumping them with the half-done stuff, or the 'lack-of-effort' work. i did try hard to do my part, but there are many things about our study that i don't understand. my course is always about writing research papers, and to do that, we need to conduct studies. There are variables we need to control, and external details to consider. It requires u to be observant and merticulous. all my life i've been in business, i'm not a steered for research. during our project discussions, i tried to clarify stuff so that i could understand and write my part. but because my skull is so thick, they had to explain several times, and in the midst of that, they lost their temper at me. whenever i was writing my part, i wanted to contact them, but i'm so afraid of getting scolded again... so i always email them my part and told them to advise me if there is anything to improve or change. But they never got back to me. instead, they edited my part and wrote up every other things. i didn't wanna add to their burden, i wanted to help, but things are so not working out :'( i've never felt so loser, so lost, so hated before. i am seriously considering dropping out... should I?
the only thing that i was good for and helpful this semester was the Translation module. i have been thinking and i realised that being 'business' student, being the practical me, i am good at application, and not research... but this Linguistics course that i'm now in, 有我的容身之处吗？
15 APRIL
Dear Mood,
I have given u the authority to run my daily life but u are not performing. Everyday I feel bored, unsatisfied and restless. This has caused much work to be piled up. I would be good if u do something to help me. I will reward u during the holidays, so please work well for just 1 more month. Thank you.
Loves,
Alicia
14 APRIL
HAHA! i sent my roomie a nasty sms telling her how dirty our room was 2 weeks ago. and now, at 2am, she was cleaning the floor. this is funny! and she told me she attempted to sweep the floor last week but failed 'cause she doesn't know how to use the broom. is she cute or what... LOLLL!
13 APRIL
i think i found a new love in school! she is so helpful, so friendly, and she is the 1st person in university i click with on 1st interaction! it's been long since i've met someone like that!
anyway, she's gone out of her way to help me with my project, and i'm so touched. i offered to have sex with her, but she declined it. awww, what a waste... and when i was rushing projects, her name and image kept appearing in my head, and i can't forget the time when i held her hand. oh god, i'm gay!
12 APRIL
i hate it how my life runs on my mood! i haven't been doing much work although i confine myself in the room, at my table! i am just not in the mood to do so no matter how i tried to satisfy myself. failed miserably. now that project deadlines are near and exams round the corner. this appears in my head--GG!
9 APRIL
went to windsurfing 'practice'. been long since i made time for CCA. well, today wasn't any practice because i didn't go into the water. There was no wind so we didn't intend to go into the water. uncle david came today and i'm so happy to see him! he said since we were there, he will teah us how to rig up a hard sail... and running here and there, looking for the mast, marker, pliers, lighter, etc. we got it up. then it was 3.30pm and the wind came, and storm clouds are close, they all set into the water but i decided to go home instead because they didn't have to rent since they have their own equipment. i didn't wanna rent just for 1 hour because i know i will spend 30 mins being rescued and warned to stay at shore...
finally at the beach, and i felt at ease. i haven't felt this good for so long... it's really a relaxing place, u see groups of people sitting at stone benches drinking and chatting, people lying down to sun-tan, people bringing their equipments into the water and setting out, buying and selling of sails and boards going on, calling out to one of the uncles for help with rigging up or fixing of equipment, everyone is so helpful and friendly. this is like a village itself, it's a paradise. even out at sea, people are always lending me a helping hand, expressing concern, so heart-warming. in contrast to city, school where everyone is practising survival-of-the-fittest, this is like a total different dimension.
7 APRIL
i'm really glad that i joined AMS, because i've gotten friends who would support each other and stay united... i'm really amazed at the length they would go to help u. it's really a different culture i would say, and it's always so warming to think about them. people who said that they have no friends and are ok it, i think u guys haven't experienced the joy friends bring.
BAMBOO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :D
just an interesting sight, chu's birthday greetings for zhi goes:
chuhui: *sings* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~~
ally, jelly, xiaotian: *screams* BAMBOO!!
chuhui: *sings* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~~
ally,jelly,xiaotian: *screams* BAMBOO!!
chuhui: *sings* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~~~~!!
...ally,jelly,xiaotian: *screams till lungs explode* BAMBOO!!
hehe happy 21st bamboo! ♥♥♥
4 APRIL
sometimes i get very disgusted by myself... i hate my personality. i always feel ashame when i'm with Melissa. while i know it's impossible for me to be as kind as her, i want to be better, i think i am very mean. everytime she is so nice to me, i feel guilty, i feel that i don't deserve it.
3 APRIL
went over to my secondary school friend's house to get her to record something for me... how nice of her to agree to it even without asking much details. on top of that, i haven't contacted her in ages. i'm so touched. is this what we call real friend? sometimes i feel really blessed because i have people like that around me, and that no money can get me people like that...
went to Zhi's birthday dinner! went there at the expense of missing my CCA practice, for the 6th time consecutively. omg, main comm yet keeps skipping lessons. the president sure is my role model. but i guess missing it was more than worth it. i had an excellent time with the crazy girls--chu, zhi, xiao and jelly. i totally love their company and they never fail to brighten up my day :D just what i always need on gloomy days :D
2 APRIL
omg, i skipped windsurfing for the 5th week consecutively already! kill me or something!
